Room 607

I made a search in YouTube for Soul Mates word to see what I can find, and there is this reading from CARL JUNG: How God Connects Two Soulmates That Are Destined for Each Other. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK06W6kmLIs

While listening to it, I reminded about our compatibility chart from the astrologer after a long time. And I read it again. Is so much similar. Now it all makes sense.

Listening to Jung’s theory, it helped me to understand myself more, our relationship, and all our feelings. And I realized that all of it is true, we are really soulmates, whether we like it, or admit it, or not. And this is not making things easier. Is draining me. Why? This is so much contrary to my religious beliefs, they don’t match. And is so hard to let it go. And you didn’t make things easier. You just pushed me far and it will be very hard the return. I feel that you miss me. I feel that you want me to come back. But loving you awakens something much older in me — something rooted in my childhood. And to explain that, I will tell you a story at the end. …

Now, in order to work this relationship, seems like both of us must let go everything, is like a purification, and that hurts like hell. To be together, I should give up about my life goal mainly, living for others. You keep telling me this since we met. I will explain you why I can’t.

Every morning, when I wake up, I pray:
“God, thank You for everything You have given me. Today again, I place my life in Your hands. I am Your servant. Let me do Your will.”

To reach this level, I had to pass through countless transformations. So now, whatever comes my way during the day, I accept. Sometimes I return home late. Sometimes I leave unexpectedly or answering calls in the middle of the night, or staying hours on the phone listening to random people telling their life stories or fears or problems. My family no longer asks questions. They trust that God guides and protects me.

My life is not directed by my plans. Whenever I tried to make plans, God gently laughed at them.

A day for me might begin with a simple meeting — and on the way, I might encounter a beggar asking to be driven 200 kilometers to another city. You know my electric car barely covers that distance. And yet, I would take him. I would cancel everything else. I would not even consider the consequences. Because in that moment, I believe I am serving God Himself.

And that fills me with an indescribable joy — completing the tasks He places before me.

In this unpredictable — random for us, but never random for Him — life, romance and passion never had a place. They were not part of the design.

And then you came.

When you entered my life, everything intensified. God’s tasks seemed to grow more demanding. Extraordinary things began happening daily. And at the same time, you turned my world upside down. I had to bend, adjust, reshape myself.

I tried to save my marriage. I tried to forget you. I fought with all my strength to return to what was “normal.” But after pushing so hard, I realized something painful:

It is not working.

I cannot live without you. My heart aches for you every day. I feel you in every cell of my body. This connection does not resemble a fairy tale — it is not soft pink and peaceful. It is fire. It exposes our fears, our habits, everything we thought we were. It strips us bare, until only our souls remain — vulnerable, unmasked, pure. And Jung has really good answers to that. And is so freaking me.

As Christians, we are taught to discern carefully the fine line between temptation and truth. For so long, I believed this was merely a temptation — something to resist, something to surrender once so it would disappear forever.

But it did not disappear.

After more than two years of fighting, I see no purpose in fighting anymore. That is why I came back to you.

And I understand you now. If I had been in your place, I might have rejected me too — to protect myself from the pain this love brings. But I came to you with my heart completely open. I wanted you to understand that resisting what we feel has become useless. We must either accept it… or let it burn us from within.

I know you are afraid I will leave again. That I will change my mind.

No.

This time, it is real.

I will try to adapt to this new life — with you or without you. But I will not come back again unless you truly call me. Or unless life itself does.

For now, I have at least a month of intense work ahead. You will have your space.

P.S. The story I promised you.

There was once a young man in his twenties. He had two girlfriends — and the two women were friends, unaware that he was deceiving them both.

One day, he decided it was time to marry. Unable to choose, he brought both of their photographs to his mother and asked her to decide for him. She refused. The choice, she said, must be his.

So he chose the weaker one — the orphan, the fragile girl who seemed to need protection. He felt responsible for her.

But the other woman loved him deeply. After he left her, she sought him out several times, asking if he was truly certain of his decision. Even on the wedding day, just before the vows, she approached him once more and asked: “Is this truly what you want?”

He grew angry. He accused her of not letting go. He treated her harshly and ordered her to leave forever.

That man was my father.

Throughout my childhood, he told me this story again and again. He warned me never to be like that woman. “Never run after a man,” he would say. “Let him come to you.”

Perhaps that is why I never had a boyfriend until the middle of university. Many tried. But my silence, my restraint, confused them.

I broke that rule only once.

For you.