Room 607

Yes, my love, this is the required period of penance for adultery: 15 years without receiving the Eucharist.

I can’t handle that anymore. I’ve already gone through it once before, for six years.

Now, during this fasting period, it is a great time for confession, reflection, and prayer.
Which I’ve been doing lately. I went to confession on Friday, and on Saturday I received the Eucharist. It was such a great joy and relief. Only someone who is used to it can truly understand the deep peace and joy that fills the soul in that moment.

I’ve done some research and also spoke again with my priest about us. He is completely against this situation. Still, he said there is only one possible way if we truly want to be together: first, both of us would need to divorce, with the bishop’s blessing. After that, we could marry—but only after a period of preparation, with fasting, confession, and repentance, and without any physical relationship before the wedding.

Even in this case, from what I have been reading—especially in the writings of Saint Basil the Great—it is still considered a great sin especially for a woman, to leave her husband and go to another one. He says it will always be considered adultery.

And this is written by a woman whose dream is to become a nun when her youngest child turns 18. A woman who has never been physically attracted to anyone—a nun at heart—until you appeared and turned her entire life upside down in a single moment, touching her soul.

I dreamed about you last night too, and it was a funny dream. I was poor and humble, in an outdoor place, washing dishes. It looked like the garden of a hotel, and I was about 40 meters away from the building.

Suddenly I saw your car arriving. It was a new one, gorgeous. You got out of it looking so handsome, and you seemed so successful and radiant—everything about you was shining and bright.

And I was just so happy to see you, so proud of you. Seeing that you were fine and happy filled my soul with joy. I just watched you from afar, quietly. Like a guardian angel… someone who can always be there for you.